I’ve been writing this piece for a good few months now (like since February!) and I just couldn’t get that sense of completion with it. I think it has it with the fact that I’m an over-thinker. Well, all that ends now. I’m putting it out there!
I believe as you get older, your life is in constant revision; some decisions were great while others, not so much. You’re in a more proactive rather than reactive mode. All in all, the good and the bad worked together to get you, me, to where we are now. I am so thankful that God protected me from what I thought I wanted and blessed me with what and who I needed. Most times when we pray, we ask God for what we want because we believe that’s what’s right, but what if it isn’t. What if what God has in store for you is so much greater than ANYTHING that you could ever ask, dream or think of; because it is.
~I believe as you get older, your life is in
constant revision~
This is a very personal piece to write but we go through a myriad of life experiences to grow and help others. As I sit here reflecting, lessons learnt in my 20’s is an ever evolving piece. It’s good to remain in a place of reflection, it helps our minds and souls expand. I’ve compiled a list of sorts with such lessons below:
- That 1st love bite is intense, deep and can make you do crazy and foolish things!!!! Beware of dogs! If it didn’t go well, use the time after to heal, recover and learn who you truly are. Vow to use the heart break as fuel to push you further in life. That 1st love intensity can also be beautiful and you find the one your heart desires. Congrats! Still take the time to grow and learn who you are as an individual as well as a part of a couple.
- You can’t please everyone, so stop trying to. Be one with the fact that not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. It hurts but who do you think you are, Elmo.
~You can’t please everyone, so stop trying to..
you’re not Elmo!~
- Discover & fall in love with travel. Even if you don’t like flying, try a road trip. In this case, focus on the destination more than the journey. Traveling to see another part of the world, how others live, getting out of your routine completely is amazingly refreshing and a humbling experience
- Try real hard to figure out your career path. Yes, it will inevitably change but you just have to start somewhere and get some cash flow going. You need money to see where else life can take you, to see what other passions you enjoy. You need money to get that life pendulum swinging.
- Drop all the dead weight. Some people are just not worth your time. I realized this in my 20’s but wasn’t fully comfortable with dropping weights until my 30’s. Surround yourself with people that are honest with you no matter what. They tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear. As time gets increasingly more valuable, the people you love make time for you and vice versa. The number of close friends drops quite drastically as you get older and that’s ok. A few good friends who you can be your true self with is far better than a bag of acquaintances.
- Be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best and if you’re not, get it together and do better. Just remember only you know how much effort and passion you’re exerting. We are our own worst critic and greatest motivator
- Learn to love every bit of yourself and if that’s not realistic for you, APPRECIATE every bit of yourself! Choose to be happy about your body, you hair, your height, your big booty and now as a mom; my c-section scar, my stretch marks, the changes in my body that came with 2 pregnancies. You are amazing. We are amazing. Love yourself.
- Treat others the way THEY want to be treated, because everyone is not you!
- Blood does not make you family, relationship does. Blood defines your biology, not your heart or the relationships you build. This was such a hard pill to swallow but life goes on; you grow, you learn, you evolve. Above all else, protect your heart.
- Get out of your own head! Don’t over think things! I cannot stress this enough. I am such an over-thinker; probably the same with most women. My brain goes into overdrive for simple decisions. I deal with over thinking by writing things out, saying what’s on my mind either to a friend or to the mirror (it’s normal), making a pro/con list (yes, I’m that girl) or going for a run to clear my head. Figure out what helps you to be more decisive if you aren’t already.
- Get comfortable with saying “No.” No is at times the hardest word to say but you can’t always be the yes man or yes woman. In the name of your sanity, downtime, rest and peace of mind sometimes we have to say no. No explanations needed. I learned the more you go into details on why you can’t do something, the more someone can pick apart your reason. A lesson I learnt very quickly as a staff nurse on the unit early in my career.
This is by no means a complete list but these are definitely some of the heavy hitters that are helping me navigate my 30’s.
Leave me a comment below! I would love to know how you’re navigating you’re 20’s or if you’re no longer in your 20’s, what are some life lessons you learnt?
The Shan R.N. 
I really loved and appreciated this post! I think it’s super easy to stress over what you think your life should look like once you reach your twenties, and so when you make a mistake or screw up, you really think it’ll effect and mess up the rest of your life! I have made numerous mistakes and I constantly beat myself up for all of them (so I haven’t been too kind to myself).
I always feel like I’m not on the right track, or I don’t know what I’m doing! I usually pray about these things, but honestly it is very hard to feel ‘normal’ when you’re surrounded by people younger than or the same age as you who seem to know exactly what they are doing!
I had plans for marriage and that didn’t work out, while I was planning my wedding I thought that I knew exactly what I wanted to do career wise too! after calling off my engagement and later ending the relationship, I just felt incredibly lost. I got my grades up but couldn’t handle the courses that I actually needed, in order to get into the field that I wanted to have a career in.
My life just started to blur and became incredibly stressful and depressing. I recently got baptized (as you know) and have been involving myself with the church more and have also been giving more time to my personal relationship with God, but I’d be lying if i said “I feel great, enthusiastic and optimistic about everything!”. Truthfully I still stress a lot about everything going on, or not going on in my life. I do find that It’s been nice to meet and talk to older men/women who tell me similar things to what you’ve stated in your post. I think the most common tips I get are to let go of bad relationships, or as you put it; ‘drop the dead weight’, love yourself and focus on your life goals. Although these are all hard to do sometimes, it really is great advice! I hope you continue to post more about these kinds of things, I am always reading about what everyones ’20s’ was like to help me navigate my 20s.
❤
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Thank you so much for sharing Ray. It’s hard to believe sometimes but trust that you are on track to be where you need to be. I always pray “God let you will be done in my life” then I realized, like most people, I thought God’s will lined up prefectly with how I thought my life should go. Not the case at all!! Your life is working out how it should. Try to find ways to release/control your anxieties.
I want so much for you to be happy Ray, but happy as defined by you at whatever you moment you’re going through in your life. Not happy by societies standards.
I’m always here for you girl❤️
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